What to do if my girlfriend is blackmailing me?

  • Relationships often do not work. Sometimes couples part ways on mutual respect and other time it is often ugly. However, if your partner makes threats like, “If you don’t do what I tell you to do, I’ll call police and get you arrested” or “If you break up with me, I’ll post those pics everywhere…”, they’re putting you in a really tough spot. This type of threat is called blackmail.

    Blackmailing is a form of emotional abuse and, like all abuse, is about power and control. A person who uses this tactic wants to make you afraid of some consequence in order to get you to do what they want. And if your partner is threatening or blackmailing you with fake offences like rape or sexual assault, it is a serious issue and is a punishable offence.

    How to tackle the situation?

    Stand by Your Boundaries
    If you feel like it is safe for you to resist, your best option might be to stand your ground and not give in to the threats. This is often easier way to stop them from doing more damage, but giving in to the threats usually doesn’t make them stop forever. In fact, it can intensify your partner’s sense of control, and the threats might even become more extreme in the future. It’s possible your partner won’t follow through on their threats.
    Turn to Your Support System
    A support system like your friend or parent etc. can help you stay strong and feel supported during a difficult time.
    Save All Proof
    If your partner is sending you threats via text, email, social media or voice messages, save everything. Take screenshots and keep them in a safe place, like a password protected file or account, or you could send copies to a trusted friend or family member if your partner has access to your computer or phone. This is a way to document the threats and abuse should you choose to take legal action.
    Police Complaint
    If your Partner’s blackmails or threats continues to grow or become violent, you should lodge a police complaint to the nearest police station or alternatively issue a lawyer's notice to your partner.


    These guides are not legal advice, nor a substitute for a lawyer

    These articles are provided freely as general guides. While we do our best to make sure these guides are helpful, we do not give any guarantee that they are accurate or appropriate to your situation, or take any responsibility for any loss their use might cause you. Do not rely on information provided here without seeking experienced legal advice first. If in doubt, please always consult a lawyer.

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